It fills me with such joy, happiness, and not the least bit of indigestion that Guillermo Del Toro has been chosen to direct the two upcoming Hobbit movies! Let’s all do a happy dance!

You see, there was recently a time when Sam Raimi, the director of the Spider-Man and Evil Dead movies, was the top choice in the running to direct the Hobbit films. That’s right, he was once being considered more highly than Del Toro, the director of Pan’s Labyrinth, to take charge of The Hobbit. To make my point more clearly, allow Youtube and I to demonstrate the difference between these two.

Sam Raimi:

Del Toro:

I’m not trying to knock Sam Raimi. I like the Evil Dead movies. I like the Spider-Man movies… well, the first two, anyway. But seriously, did you watch those two videos? And have you seen Spider-Man 3? I mean, have you really, really, really seen Spider-Man 3? Think about that. And then decide, who is the better of the two men to direct a Hobbit movie.

I think the right one has been chosen.

NOW LET’S KEEP DOING THE HAPPY DANCE!

Why was I not surprised when I checked the Google Entertainment News Wire, only to find that the latest Will Ferrell movie has suffered one of the worst opening weekends for a Ferrel movie, ever. In spite of topping the weekend box office so far, Semi-Pro has brought in just a measly $5.45 million for Friday, February 29th, with an estimated $15 million in revenue for the entire weekend. Quoting Reuters:

That would make it his worst opening since the $13.4 million start for the quirky black comedy “Stranger Than Fiction” in November 2006. But that movie opened on 2,264 theaters, while “Semi-Pro” is in 3,121 theaters.

“Blades of Glory” earned $33 million during its first weekend, and “Talladega Nights” $47 million. Both those had teen-friendly “PG-13″ ratings, while “Semi-Pro” was hampered by an “R” for language and some sexual content.

I guess it’s easy to just blame this low viewer turnout on a high MPAA rating, but I think that’s just a cop-out. I think the truth of the matter is that people are getting tired of Will Ferrell. Here’s an actor who has starred in a dozen-or-so films, yet he has played the same character in each and every one: that of an 8-year-old. And you can only watch Will Ferrell act like an 8-year-old so many time before it just isn’t funny anymore.

I have no doubt that Ferrell is just being typecast by the studios at this point. But maybe it’s time for him to fight back and stretch his abilities in a more challenging role. We don’t need another 8-year-old adult trying to entertain the audiences. That’s my job.

In the midst of my morning “task” of wasting time to browse through websites, I was reading the blog of my friend Joey Connelly, who produces the Geeks on Parade podcast. By the way, GOP (not the political party) is a good “geek” podcast that I recommend you take some time to try. Yes, this is a blatant advertisement. No, I make no apologies.

Anyway, Joey’s latest blog post brought to my attention the relaunch of the Ebert & Roeper website. And I must say, I am almost impressed at the change. On the new website, you can search for over 20 years of reviews from Roger Ebert, Richard Roeper, and even Gene Siskel (whom I have preferred the most out of the three).

Why am I not quite impressed? After being forced to watch an advertisement prior to a show clip, the clip will not load more than about ten seconds, if I get even that far. Let’s hope that this problem is fixed soon, because I am getting tired of watching the same car commercial five times only to get no substantial video in the end.

If this problem ever fixes itself, though, go visit the website. I’d give it at least one thumb up, but that would be too clichéd. So, I give it three dried out banana chips out of five.

With the success of the first movie, as well as a teaser clip during the ending credits of the movie and an additional teaser attached to the opening of the next season of the show, there has been some question as to whether or not a Simpsons Movie sequel has been in the works. Well, those questions may have now been foiled.

In the New York Post, Al Jean revealed that there are no plans for a sequel. Quote:

“We would only do a sequel if we believed it was a movie that had to be made, just like we did with the first one. We wouldn’t want to do it just because the first one was successful, or because we wanted to make money off of a movie. We’d only do it if we had a script that we thought was great [and] there’s no script at this point.”

I think this is actually good news. It’s good to have a reminder once in a while that there actually are people in the industry who are concerned about quality material and not just about money. Thank you, Al. I applaud you and your team… in a weird, online, non-visual sort of way.

So, Director Sir Ridley Scott has come out and voiced his distaste of internet media. Apparently, the internet is killing the cinema, Hollywood, babies, and small squirrels. It’s time to rise up again this evil monster. Down with the system!

Okay, perhaps Sir Scott is not that incensed about the internet, but he is not too happy about the ability to download videos on the internet and watch them on your computer. Obviously, the director of Alien, Blade Runner, and Gladiator has a point. Wouldn’t you much rather waste your life savings to see a mediocre movie that you could have easily endured through the comfort of your own home?

I don’t think so. Sir Scott, let me tell you what is really “killing” cinema.

1. Ticket prices that cost nearly the same amount as a DVD of the same movie. Why pay $10 for a movie, plus $5 for a molecule of popcorn and two peanuts, when I can sit at home, eat everything in the refrigerator, and watch the same movie five times with commentaries from the director, writer, actor, gaffer, and studio secretary?
2. DVDs that are released almost immediately after the movie hits theaters. Whatever happened to the year-long wait to actually see a movie at home? Now, you find yourself strolling through Target, when suddenly: BANG! “Woah, that movie isn’t even out in theaters yet!”
3. Annoying theater people who sit in the theater and provide commentary on their lives while the movie is playing. I really don’t care whose boyfriend is going out with whoever else’s hamster. Shut up and watch the friggin’ movie!
4. Movies that suck!

Let’s not forget that Hollywood still makes an obscene amount of money in box office sales. It’s not like movie theaters are going to disappear anytime soon.

So, nice try, Sir Scott. I loved Alien, by the way. I’ll give you credit for that.