You see, there was recently a time when Sam Raimi, the director of the Spider-Man and Evil Dead movies, was the top choice in the running to direct the Hobbit films. That’s right, he was once being considered more highly than Del Toro, the director of Pan’s Labyrinth, to take charge of The Hobbit. To make my point more clearly, allow Youtube and I to demonstrate the difference between these two.

Sam Raimi:

Del Toro:

I’m not trying to knock Sam Raimi. I like the Evil Dead movies. I like the Spider-Man movies… well, the first two, anyway. But seriously, did you watch those two videos? And have you seen Spider-Man 3? I mean, have you really, really, really seen Spider-Man 3? Think about that. And then decide, who is the better of the two men to direct a Hobbit movie.

I think the right one has been chosen.

NOW LET’S KEEP DOING THE HAPPY DANCE!

Oh yeah, also available right underneath this sentence.

That would make it his worst opening since the $13.4 million start for the quirky black comedy “Stranger Than Fiction” in November 2006. But that movie opened on 2,264 theaters, while “Semi-Pro” is in 3,121 theaters.

“Blades of Glory” earned $33 million during its first weekend, and “Talladega Nights” $47 million. Both those had teen-friendly “PG-13″ ratings, while “Semi-Pro” was hampered by an “R” for language and some sexual content.

I guess it’s easy to just blame this low viewer turnout on a high MPAA rating, but I think that’s just a cop-out. I think the truth of the matter is that people are getting tired of Will Ferrell. Here’s an actor who has starred in a dozen-or-so films, yet he has played the same character in each and every one: that of an 8-year-old. And you can only watch Will Ferrell act like an 8-year-old so many time before it just isn’t funny anymore.

I have no doubt that Ferrell is just being typecast by the studios at this point. But maybe it’s time for him to fight back and stretch his abilities in a more challenging role. We don’t need another 8-year-old adult trying to entertain the audiences. That’s my job.

We now realize what an amazing application this is for coordinating groups of writers. With Google Docs, multiple people can work on the same script at the same time. Due to the increased collaboration that this offers, we’ve already started to see improvements in the quality and the overall level of humor in our script writing over the past few days. How did we ever get along without this feature?

What does this mean for you? Maybe nothing. But it does mean that you have some good shows to look forward to in the future. Episode #005 is in the works right now, and from the looks of the script, it’s going to be good. If you’re a podcaster working with a group of writers, if you need to access documents on the go, or if you’re just a nerd with nothing better to do, I can only highly recommend checking out Google Docs.

Also, our message forum has also been reopened to post comments, complaints, Youtube videos, and various dessert recipes.

So, now you can not only continue to Listen To Us, you can also continue to Read Us. What could possibly be better?

Thats right, your vary own Master Chief made out of paper. It does take some assembly but it looks really cool. Just download a pdf from the site. Print it out. Cut it out. Then follow the instructions. Enjoy!

Thrifty Sarah Michelle Gellar has quietly become the queen of the green celebrities by recycling shopping bags and cycling to work. But the former Buffy The Vampire Slayer star admits it has more to do with saving cash that being environmentally conscious. She tells Self magazine, “I take my reusable bag to Whole Foods so I get a discount. I go to Bloomingdale’s on double rewards day. And I always print my dry cleaning coupons before I go. My dry cleaner laughs. He’s like, ‘You don’t have to keep printing them out!’” But it’s her bright pink bicycle which earns her frowns from friends and neighbors now she lives in New York. She adds, “Not only is it bright pink with the bell and streamers and the whole thing, but it has Hello Kitty tires. Every time I leave my apartment, my doorman just shakes his head.”

I applaud her honesty, and I also find it funny. I have nothing against being smart and thrifty. The Hello Kitty bicycle, though, is completely unforgivable.

The catch? Shows will be downloaded with commercials in a proprietary player that will disallow transfer of the show between computers and will delete the file after seven days. If all goes well, NBC plans to unveil a service that will allow customers to buy episodes individually with the ability to transfer files between computers with a system that mirrors iTunes.

Make what you will out of that news. While I don’t agree with NBC’s decision to pull their programs out of iTunes, I have no problem with NBC wanting to work on their own terms. What I do have a problem with is that Jeff Gaspin, the president of the NBC Universal Television Group, blames iTunes for problems with episode piracy:

“But, Mr. Gaspin said, ‘piracy was and is our No. 1 priority.’ He said that the music industry had been devastated by the free exchange of music, much of it facilitated by iTunes.”

If you think that iTunes is the problem with piracy, you’re going to have much more to worry about than how much you’re going to charge for your shows. Like, how are you going to stop the scores of computer nerds who will likely find a way to hack the proprietary software. And you know they will. Then, how will you keep the shows from being distributed through other means, like BitTorrent?

No, NBC, you left iTunes for the money. Just admit the reason. You know very well that the iTunes store is one of the safer ways to protect your property. If you’re trying to protecting your property on the basis that iTunes is facilitating piracy, you will not get very far in your own efforts.

I blow my nose at you, so-called NBC. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberry!

Anyway, Joey’s latest blog post brought to my attention the relaunch of the Ebert & Roeper website. And I must say, I am almost impressed at the change. On the new website, you can search for over 20 years of reviews from Roger Ebert, Richard Roeper, and even Gene Siskel (whom I have preferred the most out of the three).

Why am I not quite impressed? After being forced to watch an advertisement prior to a show clip, the clip will not load more than about ten seconds, if I get even that far. Let’s hope that this problem is fixed soon, because I am getting tired of watching the same car commercial five times only to get no substantial video in the end.

If this problem ever fixes itself, though, go visit the website. I’d give it at least one thumb up, but that would be too clichéd. So, I give it three dried out banana chips out of five.

Now, they just need to give The Colbert Report its own new website with the same treatment, and I’ll be in an artificial computer-generated not-quite-but-almost paradise.